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By पूनम पांडे
महिला अधिकारों की जब बात उठती है तो महिलाएं क्या मांगती हैं? जाहिर है बराबरी का अधिकार। लेकिन अगर बराबरी की मांग करते-करते कोई खुद शोषणकारी की तरह बर्ताव करने लगे तो…. कम से कम कुछ मामलों में तो यही हो रहा है। इसमें कोई दो राय नहीं है कि अभी भी कई जगह खासकर गांवों में महिलाओं की स्थिति बहुत दयनीय है और उन्हें उनके अधिकार दिलाने के लिए जितना भी किया जाए वह कम है लेकिन ऐसी महिलाओं की संख्या भी बढ़ रही है जो अपने हक के लिए मिले कानून का दुरूपयोग कर रही हैं। और कानून भी इसमें मूकदर्शक बने रहने के अलावा कुछ नहीं कर पा रहा है।
मेरा एक मित्र है जिसने कुछ दिनों पत्रकारिता की और अब लॉ करने के बाद एक सीनियर क्रिमिनल लॉयर के साथ ट्रेनिंग ले रहा है। कुछ ही दिन पहले वह मिला और इतना व्यथित था कि पूछिए मत। वजह पूछने पर बताया कि यार गलत काम मैं कर नहीं सकता और न करूं तो वकालत करने का सपना छोड़ना पड़ेगा। और मेरे पैरंट्स मुझे समझने की बजाय मुझे प्रैक्टिकल बनने की सलाह दे रहे हैं। हुआ यूं कि कुछ दिन पहले उसके सीनियर के पास एक महिला आई। पढ़ी लिखी और मॉडर्न। उसने अपने 2 साल पुराने पति और उसके पैरंट्स के खिलाफ घरेलू हिंसा कानून के तहत केस दर्ज कराया था। वह वकील से कहने लगी कि मैं अपने पति और उसके पूरे परिवार को जेल में देखना चाहती हूं चाहे इसके लिए कुछ भी करना पड़े। आप चाहें तो सबूत क्रिएट करने के लिए मैं अपने शरीर पर सिगरेट से दागने के निशान बना सकती हूं। इतना बताया ही था कि मेरा वह दोस्त बुरी तरह बरस पड़ा। उसने बताया कि एक हफ्ते से वह सीनियर लॉयर के पास नहीं गया है क्योंकि जब उसने उनसे कहा कि सर ये तो गलत है तो उन्होंने उसे ही लेक्चर दे डाला।
एक वाकया और याद आ रहा है जब मैं कॉलेज में स्टूडेंट यूनियन में थी। एक 22 साल के लड़के को रेप के आरोप में गिरफ्तार किया गया। कुछ सीनियर पुलिस अधिकारियों ने बताया कि दरअसल मामला कुछ और ही है। वह लड़का एक कॉल गर्ल के पास गया और बाद में पैसों को लेकर कुछ बहस हुई और 40 रुपये को लेकर उसने लड़के पर रेप का केस कर दिया। मेडिकल टेस्ट में भी उसकी पुष्टि हो गई। पुलिस वाले हकीकत जानते हुए भी कुछ नहीं कर सके और उस लड़के को सजा हो गई।
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One of the many things that we try to teach our children is how to make a good decision. Sometimes the problem can be that we may not always make good decisions ourselves or we may allow emotions to influence our choices. I found this to be true in a recent argument I had with my older son and a latter discussion about an important choice he wanted to make.
The argument was about his last-minute decision to back out of his promise to come skiing with me over Winter Break, preferring instead to stay home with his friends (and girlfriend). I got angry as he made this decision days before we were supposed to leave, thus leaving me high and dry with little time to find a friend to come in his place. My wife and other son were already scheduled to go on a very special trip to Japan and Hong Kong.
So, like the mature parent I always am, I pouted like a child, I yelled, and otherwise berated him. The truth was he never really wanted to go, as he’s just not that into skiing (or snowboarding, in his case), but he was afraid to tell me that truth. Once I got over my initial hurt over being spurned in favor of his friends and girlfriend (he’s 16, Dad – who do you think he prefers to hang out with?), we talked about a better way to have handled the situation.
The upshot is that he knows that he shouldn’t wait until the last minute because of fear of disappointing me (or anyone), fear of my reaction, and he should “man up” and tell the truth vs. procrastinating. I needed to “hear” him better when he was hesitant to go and not railroad him to the decision I wanted.
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I cannot remember more than a couple of women, and I have polled dozens, who did not choose power as the thing they were drawn to most
By: Aakar Patel
I have a game I have been trying out at parties for a decade. I ask women to give it a thought, and then choose the order in which they would be attracted to the following types of men as their partner:
- Good-looking
- Powerful
- Stable.
No other quality in these three men is defined, and they are what those words mean. Almost invariably, women choose the powerful man as the one they are most attracted to. This is followed by the stable man and last, the good-looking one. I cannot remember more than a couple of women, and I have polled dozens, who did not choose power as the thing they were drawn to most.
I ask men to choose from the following:
- Beautiful
- Rich
- Homely
Men always choose beautiful first; most pick homely second and rich last.
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loading... The subcontinent’s media have strange standards when it comes to murder.
IN 2007, according to India’s National Crime Records Bureau, 32,318 people were murdered in India. Another 3644 were victims of ”culpable homicide”, roughly equating to manslaughter. In a category of its own, 8093 brides or their relatives were killed in ”dowry deaths” – murdered by greedy grooms and in-laws angry over the amount of dowry paid by the bride’s family. And there were a further 27,401 attempted murders.
By contrast, in 2007, the Australian Bureau of Statistics reports, 255 people were murdered in Australia. Another 28 were victims of manslaughter, and 246 survived attempted murders. No dowry deaths were recorded.
India, of course, is a very big country. But the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime estimates that relative to population, its homicide rate is more than twice that of Australia. It is a country in which violent crime is commonplace – so commonplace that every day more than 100 Indians are murdered by other Indians, yet their TV news channels treat this as humdrum unless it involves some celebrity or unusual features.
Yet when an Indian is murdered overseas, these news channels whip themselves and their viewers into a froth of indignation at the country concerned. How can this happen?, they thunder. How can any civilised nation fail to protect its residents? What kind of racist country is this?
How does this happen? Well, it happens because human beings are imperfect creatures. They can be selfish, they can be hateful, they can enjoy hurting, even killing, other humans. It happens here, it happens in India, it happens everywhere.
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loading... By David Pisarra
Life has a funny way of teaching you lessons. Sometimes they come easily, like when you were a kid and your mom caught you stealing a candy bar and made you take it back to the grocery store and admit your wrongs. That was a long car ride. But it was a lesson that I’ve never forgotten.
Other times the lessons are harder to come by.
I have a friend who for the past 10 years has dated the same girl. Sometimes she has red hair, sometimes she’s brunette. Sometimes she’s a model, other times she’s a makeup artist. One time she was a dancer. The women all looked different, or they had different jobs, but they were always the same girl on the inside. There have been probably five women that he was sure he was going to marry. “This is the one,” he’d say with enthusiasm and excitement. I’d sit back and just wait. You don’t want to burst that bubble of joy that people have when they say they are in love, but you can see that it’s a train wreck waiting to happen.
The hard part of seeing your friends make these decisions is not being able to speak up. It’s a hard call. They invariably ask, “What do you think of her?” Do you tell him that you think she’s just like all the others, and that he’s going to end up in court with a restraining order against her, and he’ll be paying the rent on the house they rented together even though she’ll have kicked him out? No. You can’t do that.
You smile, you say, “She’s great! I love her laugh.” It’s that non-obligatory positive comment we make to reassure our friends that they need, because deep down, somewhere in the bottom of their soul, they know it will not work out, but they are hoping it will anyway, and are looking to us for support. For me, it’s a difficult place to be. I want to be honest with my friends, but when that question comes, I feel like Jack Nicholson in “A Few Good Men.” My heart is screaming, “You can’t handle the truth,” so my lips say some true but innocuous statement like, “I think she’s really beautiful.” But I’m just waiting for the phone call that will eventually come: “Dude, I don’t know what happened. Can I sleep on your couch?”
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loading... A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan
I hate New Year’s Resolutions. I swore I’d never write one. I misspoke. So, this is going to be a New Year’s Resolutions column, with a twist: it will include both resolutions and wishes. I am going to mix my own personal resolutions and wishes with those I project for others, and the world. In no particular order, herewith my New Year’s Resolutions and wishes:
* I hope for a New Year with true conciliation and dialogue between our political parties and, on a more personal level, between each of us that may differ on a particular political issue. It has gotten way too divisive and angry.
* My boys are not little kids anymore. I need to really listen to them and try and understand their concerns vs. interrupting them and lecturing them. While they’re not adults, they deserve more respect and treatment as their own individuals.
* With the recent happy ending result for David and Sean Goldman (a father an son separated by an abduction to Brazil and re-united on Christmas Eve, after five years), I wish for less acrimony between divorcing spouses and a little more care and concern for the children. All so-called Family Courts and the CPS (Child Protection Services) should actually care about is the children’s welfare. That is why I’ve called these courts, “Anti-Family Courts.” I also want to use my forum, through my columns, Facebook “fan” page (please join it at “A Dad’s Point-of-View” on Facebook), and web-site, to learn more myself and disseminate useful information on these issues.
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loading... Dirt Poster is a Design and Graphic-Design work made by Roland Reiner Tiangco, a new graduate of a Design School, living in New York. While handling the poster, your hands starts to get dirty, and this dirt allows you to see what’s the poster is all about. Check out also the artist’s Website.
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loading... इस पेज का नाम ‘जस्ट जिंदगी’ ही क्यों? इस सवाल से जूझते हुए हमें तमाम जवाब सूझे। जस्ट जिंदगी क्योंकि सब कुछ जिंदगी के लिए ही है। ऑफिस का कॉम्पिटिशन, सुबह की जॉगिंग, थिएटर में पॉपकॉर्न टटोलती उंगलियां या फिर सोने के पहले सोचने जैसा कुछ, यही सब मिलकर बनाता है जिंदगी को। हमें इस जिंदगी से तमाम शिकायतें हैं, मगर उन शिकायतों की पूंछ में लिपटी आती हैं तमाम उम्मीदें और उन्हें पूरा करने के लिए जोश।
हमारे मकसद में एक तपिश है, जो मुश्किलों के पहाड़ को धीरे-धीरे ही सही, पिघलाने का माद्दा रखती है, बशर्ते हम ठंडे न पड़ जाएं। इसलिए जिस कोने में कभी आपकी सेहत, तो कभी आपकी जेब को बचाए रखने और बेहतर करने के नुस्खे सुझाए जाते हैं, उस पर हमने इस बार जिंदगी की हरारत से जुडे़ कुछ ख्यालों को जगह दी है। वजह सिर्फ इतनी कि जिंदगी को बांहों में भींचने के लिए हमें भी तो कुछ करना होगा। तो नए साल से पहले जिंदगी को नई नजर से निहारने की कोशिश कर रहे हैं सौरभ द्विवेदी :
खिल-खिल-खिल कर हंस दें
एक ही स्कूल, कॉलेज और दफ्तर में तमाम ऐसी शक्लें हैं, तमाम ऐसी आवाजें हैं, जो कभी हमें पसंद थीं। फिर एक दोपहर या शाम किसी बहस ने जंबो साइज हासिल कर लिया और हमारी मुस्कानों के बीच में इगो का सोख्ता आ गया, जिसने रिश्तों की सारी नमी को सोख लिया। कोई दोस्त, कोई कलीग या फिर कोई रिश्तेदार, जिसके साथ आपने कभी न कभी कुछ अच्छा वक्त जरूर बिताया है, अब उससे बात करने का, उसे देखने का दिल भी नहीं करता। तो कोशिश करें कि अच्छी यादों को बुरी यादों के ऊपर जीत हासिल हो। हम यह नहीं कहते कि ऐसी हर गलतफहमी या मनमुटाव को खत्म कर धर्मात्मा बन जाएं, मगर हां चुप्पी के कुछ सन्नाटों को एक हंसी के कहकहे के साथ खत्म किया जा सकता है। क्या पता आपकी हंसी फिर से नमी पैदा कर दे? और हां इन सबसे दूर हंसी की डेली डोज भी जरूरी है। आपसे किसी ने कभी तो कहा होगा, वेन यू स्माइल, यू डू वेल। सो डू वेल इन लाइफ।
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loading...  We talk a lot about the availability bias here on Neuroworld, so I don’t think I have to tell you how much you overestimate the possibility of being on a plane brought down by terrorism. Still, it’s worth taking a look at this graphic, via Gawker and based on data put together by Nate Silver:
Now, look at that graph, and decide which is the better response to terror:
- Panic and yell and scream from the rooftops that we’re all about to be killed by Al Qaeda, or
- Handle terrorism as a law-enforcement and intelligence matter.
Sure, I’m tipping the scales with my own biases. But the data really speaks for itself.
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February 3rd, 2010 | 
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